I hope I get you.

I have that feeling everytime I see him.
That butterfly feeling when you go all shy and don't really know what to say to him.
It's emabaressing for me because i'm not shy of talking.
But he, actually puts a big grin on my face when i get a text from him.
And he puts the hugest smile on my face and makes me want to not leave when he's around.

I haven't been this excited in ages.
It's really complicated though.
You could say he's not my type but he is.
We both can just chat shit to each other and give shit to one another and know we aren't going to think we're weird.
He knows how i feel alot.
I actually just plucked up the courage and asked him if he was interested.
And he said yes and then he brought in the ex...
You see, i'm staying well clear at the moment because he only has recently split with her and i don't want to get involved in that.
But i really like him, and i have this frame of mind at the moment that i don't really want to be with anyone or get to any guys just purely because they are more hassle than they're worth which resulted in me actually hurting this guy flynn a couple of months ago i talked about him on here before but i just couldn't do it.
We were different people as well, and the one thing that really put me off him is that he smoked alot of weed and now that i don't do that and haven't done for a long time didn't make me see how it would work. Because i'd probably be dragged back into that and i don't want that it fucks with you seriously.
I get really worried about my brother and my friends because they do smoke it and i never do it when i'm with them but i just think about how much they're doing it and it scares the fucking life out of me. I once confronted Liam about it and he knew it was problem. I can't say much though smoking i think is equally bad but i just can't seem to not put a fag down and think my lungs are going black inside of me your nannas in hospital.
You would think by how much i love my nanna i would stop.
And i really love her.
When i go up to visit i never want to leave.
Anyway shes a touchy subject with me and i always start to feel my eyes stinging.
But not alot of people know how ill she is just a few mates.
Anyway back to this boy, like i said he's not my usual type.. he's sort of a preppy boy...
Doesn't drive..
Has dark hair and dark eyes lacking the tallness but thats not a problem..
I usual go for quite well...
When i look at a guy i look at hair..
it's shallow i know but i do then i look at their feet haha
to see what shoes they are wearing.
And then i look at their eyes and i normally go for blue eyed boys.
But he's different but i'm just waiting till he figures out what he wants because he's confused me alot.
:)
I have my options though he's not the only one i have been looking at jokejoke!
I'm a one guy girl. Would never cheat on anyone!
Anyway it's Gemmas birthday on Friday and I can't wait! She already knows i'm buying her soulcaliber hahaha and another ps3 controller ahaha so i can play.
I'm a nice friend.
I have been playing soulcaliber and tekken like non-stop since last weekend. i'm fucking addicted.
and annoyed that i can now eventually buy live and then remembered that me ad liam had our xbox chipped and now we are banned. MOTHERFUCKERS.
But then i could go to the darkside and invest in a ps3??
Then i would be able to go on live aqnd not pay for it!

But i had the best day today just cruised into garstang met adz and lee at the pub had a pint which i had been craving for because it was so sunny today!
Then we went and met up with helen and arthur by the river and just chilled till the sun went away i love days like those!

ASjhkldshgwaf there's so much to look forward to this summer!!
:D i can't fucking wait for whit monday weekend it's going to be messy times!
I can't wait to go to the beach and eat a 99! haha :)
And wear my shortsssssss.
Go to the beer gardens!

I just can't tell myself enough how much i love my friends though,
i just woudln't be the same without them.
I hate staying at home i have to be out or just get annoyed at myself.

I just can't wait for this year and the next year and the year after that
because i don't know whats going to happen and i don't want to predict whats going to happen. I hope good things come my way and for everyone!

I'm going to be really sad right now but this is how i realised it was good, I was walking just past arthurs house and i could just smell the summer air and for a second i was just like woah it smells good life is good i feel good i just can't wait!!!!
haaa
i should really stop writing before i start explaning to you how much i love the sky and space and how much we as a human race don't know about it.
It actually amazes me.
hdsahlkdskhdfkfd

i think i have done enough writing for one night.