Hello September.

Pretty much, full of crap my blog. BUT, I WILL CONTINUE WRITING CRAP. I went on holiday, met a beautiful Irish boy then came home. And all the awesome drunk parts inbetween. Was a great holiday then I realised next year I want to go somewhere out of this world. I want to have my jaw literally drop on the floor at the sheer beauty of the place. Just need to search for where to go, and there are so many places too. -need to win the lottery too. (check) Might make myself a little list of things I shouldn't do too. But that would take while. And no none of them are illegal. Literally can't stop looking at the sky these last couple of weeks whether I'm walking back from somewhere or I'm waiting for a bus or the crazy person that I am going for a walk at like one in the morning. Refreshing :) Also the sky is again very pretty tonight. ^_^ Can't wait for October, it's one of my favourite months because the leaves go all nice reds and oranges, as much as I love summer I do like Autumn. Also getting back on the road since I can already drive, I had license but then it got taken off me. ¬_¬ So now I'm thinking I miss driving. Alot. My friend had a baby boy this week so congratulations to them as he is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen :) And no mum you won't be getting grandchildren anytime soon. I write really randomly and it's really pointless and useless information to anyone. Hahah. But talking of autumn... I like pictures like this. I want to imagine that I can experience this at some point in my life because it's pretty. Pretty nice. Ha.

:) I also want to be here.

This is Paws Up River in Montana, which is somewhere I HAVE ALWAYS wanted to go... And have my own horse ranch with Robert Redford... Haha. I guess we all want to do things, I just got to get off my butt and go do them. I'm trying. Also I want to marry this womans voice. I really like her voice and I really love the lyrics to her songs so yeah. Lana Del Ray will you marry me? Thanks. Buhhhhbyeeee.

Hello December.

I just realised I write absloute shit on here. Ha ha.
It really is just an update for me though isn't it?
I don't know where to start when I come on here but I know I just feel like writing.
I'm a big girl now and I have moved out of my mum and dads house...
I now live above a pub. It's good points are I'm right on the highstreet, half hour walk from work which I walk when it's nicer weather... Haha.
My independence is a plus, also it's cheap!
I also like the people and I know the people I live with. My room is proper nice and modern!
Bad points, the pub on Fridays I totally give into temptation and go down for a pint or two or three! Apart from that I love it. Haha.
And it's cosy warmmm :)
Proper full time working as well as working at the pub on the weekend so I have now worked to this day three weeks in a row with out an actual FULL DAY off. =/
I like pennies tho.
But my health is probably suffering for it.
Been ill for like two months now and I just can't shake it off.
Come spring time tho I should be right!

I guess that's what you get for working with little ones :)
Least when I have my own kids I'll be immune from most illnesses!
That's another thing, apparently I need to deliver grandchildren soon hahaa!
I do but cba finding someone. I think it'll take alot for me to settle down to be honest. It's not that I don't want to, I'm just enjoying my single life.
And plus I'm only 21.
I can't plan anything, I just have to let it happen don't get me wrong I don't want be single at 25 that's my plan. Haha 25 start settling down.
And have three kids, Grace, ALVIN SIMON AND THEODORE. haaa I joke but I really like the name Grace. No idea why.
Blah. Pure boredom. Should tidy really.

What the hell happened there!?

I haven't wrote on here since February.
There's reasons for that I'm having too much fun for one!
And then now I need to write or I just can't get it off my chest and then I want everyone to know how much I dislike you. In fact I can't fucking stand you right now.

So you know, I'm single and I'm happy and I wasn't particularly looking for anything but then you came along.
I'm out in my local pubs having a real good time! As you do.
When me and my friend Helen walked into the kings a little on the merry side.
When I see two guys standing there chilling out having a drink, they start talking to Helen and I wasn't really assed at first about them and then we left and went to the wheatsheaf pub. And that's when I caught your eye, you were thinking she's really lovely and nice, nursery teacher and all. But how naive was I!?! prick.

So then It's a lovely couple of months where I actually find it nice that I'm getting to know him and the way he paid attention.
But really your a prick.
Did you not say to my face four days before you pissed off that you were falling for me and I recall ' I love you ' came in to that conversation as well.
What did you think that meant, because it's not really an expression you throw around.

So then you arrange on the monday to go to the cinemas on the 26th May.
But Wednesday he texted me saying he had gone to liverpool till sunday and you had forgotten your charger. YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING LYING BASTARD!!!!!!
Then heres me waiting around sunday for you to give us a ring and nothing.

Monday, nothing.

Now I'm starting to get worried.
So I text you, are you at home yet?
Nothing.

Then I ring your phone to see if you have actually forgot your charger and you fucking lied.
It rang through and went to voicemail.
Thanks.
So then I'm thinking what the hell is going on?!

You then text me wednesday morning...
I'm living in London now and I'm back with my ex.



Cunt.

You didn't have the decency to just tell me what was going on.
I would have respected you alot more for that. I couldn't give to fucks where you have gone.
But it's the fact the decent person I thought you were couldn't just tell me.
You are a waste of space and I hope for your sake I don't see your face again.

You made me trust you and you just shoved it in my face.
What kind of a person does that?
What a coward.

The little, annoying things I like. This is totally random.

I got on the bus today and I really wanted to write on my blog a list of insignificant things that no-one really knows about me, whether it be why I don't buy a certain type of brand... My weird out date thing I have about chicken and milk, or that I'm gutted when I walk into work because I have to turn my music off...
I just want to randomly write really.
So let's see...
I'll start off with the little things I like to do at home. This will probably run off into randomness.
Every night after work, I'm dying for a fag.
But I hate my mum and dad seeing even though they know I'm still, well I like to think sneeky about it! I wait till after tea when I know they are all sat in the living room to spark up, and I get about thirty seconds of cloud nine emotions. That's why also I enjoy my morning walks to work, that first fag in the morning is pure bliss. And I do know that I have to quit. It's a horrible habit.
I also hate it that my mum buys McCain home fries. I can't stand them they taste funny to me and they are just not like Asda's Smart Price thin chips that are soooo good! So when my mum makes tea like chicken and chips I usually just have the chicken and bread it works out great for me because I love sandwiches. :)
I also love walking around my house to see what's new, which is very strange but I walk into my brothers bedroom thinking I'll play xbox for a bit and in about 30 seconds I'll change my mind and have a nap instead!
I also like devoting time just washing my hair and spending two hours curling it before I go to bed to just wake up in the morning for it to be all super messy which I love.
I hardly wear make up in the weekdays. FACT.
I rush to get ready for work every morning because I love my sleep so much If I have five minutes to get ready, I will be ready in five minutes if that meant I could have an extra ten minutes in bed.
I also enjoy most of all when everyone is out of the house because I do like my own solitude. The sort of things I would do is first make a list of all the things I could do with my day like recording all he things I want to watch... And then putting five cd's in the Hi-Fi and blaring it out for everybody to hear, cos I like it when people can hear what I'm listening to... especially on the bus. But I'm the biggest hypocrite because I also hate those people who play their music too loud on the bus...
I also love having the kitchen to myself cos I will make up concoctions of things that people will most probably hate and I will love.
And it's also bad that I find ironing really therapeutic, this does mean I'm the perfect girl haha.
I'm weird about milk being out of date like very weird down to the point if there's a little but left in the bottle and it's in date, I won't drink it this is all down to having a very bad experience with drinking out of date milk which lead to me being very very very ill. I can also drink milk by the bucket load.
I hate cooking chicken for other people because I'm always paranoid that it's not cooked right, once again this bring me to my childhood where we went to a family barbecue and the chicken was raw in the middle and my mum quickly says to me 'don't eat that chicken!'. It also worrys me when I got to the Chinese buffet sometimes I always cut it in half look and if it looks alright then well obviously I eat it!
But yes things have to be in date, but I'm not so bothered about bread or crisps or chocolate just because I can buy it at like 2p when it's out of date!
I really like coca cola, I like it chilled and in summer, I would without a doubt wake up and have a glass of coke and ice, it tastes so good.
I hate feet, I hate my feet being to warm really irritates me.
Useless facts I know...
I like going to warehouse becauseI enjoy dancing like a freak, by myself cos no-one really cares there.
I want to be in front like real bad, but I realised that A) I need tattoos and B) I need to lose some weight hahah. Again another thing I don't really care about!
I can eat for Britain some days but when I'm like a size 20 then I'll start to realise. I'm no stunner but I can pull a guy looking like this so It must mean I'm alright!
Haaa I also think that If I'm going to the gym then obviously I can eat the fattest thing I can find cos i'm going to the gym so it's alright. ER NO. I realise it doesn't work like that. Also when I go to the gym I only go on the cycling machines, like Bridget Jones.
That is also a time when I enjoy listening to my music the most and I like wearing little joggy bottoms and trainers. It's comfortable and my ass looks great in them haha!
I also like how I'm not a stick too but then I see girls who are wearing something that I can't pull off really annoys me!
I also get super obsessed with particular songs for awhile then I'll find another one to get obsessed on then history repeats I'm sure that's same for everyone.
I also skip almost every song I'm listening to until I find a really good one. :)
I relate songs to people and situations all the time and make up little scenarios to them... weirdo.
I have dreams about houses alot.
I have problems with shopping, I have no will power when it comes to shopping or with my money.
I need to change that, I'm not little anymore... booo :(
5/2/2011.
This will be updated every now and again...

A few questions i ought to answer.

I thought I would do a random post because i'm in a random mood :)


Q. Are you a heavy sleeper?
I have been told that I can sleep through anything, but if someone starts talking in the same room I actually wake up, I don't think I sleep as much as I used to mainly because of my truly weird and freaky dreams which I then go and analyse them afterwards and they all mean something but at the end of the day I don't look to much into them at times because they are usually the same ones...

Q. What's your earliest childhood memory?
I was at pre-school and I remember wearing a blue dress and hiding in one of those soft area tunnels and scaring the shit out of my little friend David haha :) I was quite cruel.

Q. What's a life lesson you learned the hard way?
I think I haven't experienced life enough right now to say what is a hard life but I really don't have a hard life it's not what I want what's happening to me right now but it's nothing I can't get over I'm a very optimistic person :)

Q. What's one thing in past like to change?
I wouldn't like to change anything there in the past for a reason they are experiences I had to have to possibly make me grow up. But I do know a few things I'd like to change I would like to be more prepared but who doesn't I wish I went to see my grandad before he died and I will never get that chance again but I would have liked him to know that I couldn't really cope with that at 10 years old even though I was asked quite a few times I'm sorry I said no.

Q. What's your favorite thing about yourself?
I always like to look at both sides of things and I think I'm quite a fair minded person unless someone wants to tell me otherwise... But I really am quite a positive person I think that rubs off on other people.

Q. Do you think you're a good judge of character?
I think I am, I size people up alot and sometimes I'm quick to make judgement but after a couple of times of meeting someone I can tell if I will trust them or not.

Q. What did people tease you about growing up?
My stupidity. I didn't have alot of common sense and I do come out with the most randomest shit ever.

Q. Who in your family are you most like?
My dad. But I have the temper of my mum and that you don't want to meet but I'm usually easy going like my dad.

Q. What's the most fun you've had in the last year?
Ah last year was possibly my rock bottom year I had good fun in Newquay and I had some good times with Adam.

Q. Do you have a recurring dream? What happens in it?
I do have recurring dreams two one has just been happening recently and they are both nightmares one involving the candy man where i'm hiding with my mums good friends daughter and the other is being lost in the woods by myself which isn't a problem to me in real life but in my dream it's terrifying!

Q. What's the bravest thing you've ever done?
I don't think I have done anything very brave recently to say.

Q. What's the biggest personal change you've ever made?
I haven't made any changes to myself. I probably have become maturer maybe..
But I wouldn't change for anyone nor would I want anyone to change for me.

Q. Where did you grow up?
I grew up in Aberdeenshire and I really did have a good childhood :)

Q. Where did you go to school?
I went to Primary school in Westhill just out side of Aberdeen then attended Westhill academy for three months then they moved me down south to Oxfordshire where I went to Burford Highschool for about a year and a half.. then I went to Longridge Highschool and then on to Newman college and next step for education is that I'm going to uni.

Q. Did you have a special place where you went to be alone as a child?
Hahah around our house was like a built up area of bushes but bluebells would grow around the outside and we had a big tree at the bottom of the garden that made like and archway and that was my house when ever we were playing outside!
hahahaha



Q. How did you rebel as a child?
Well drinking was probably one of them and constant aggrovation towards my mum especially I think in year eight there was one night where I didn't shout or cry or just scream at everyone around me but then I calmed down :)

Q. What's the best compliment you've ever received?
I don't know the nicest thing I like to hear is that I'm genuine because I am.

Q. What's the worst advice you've ever taken?
Just tell him what's the worse that could happen. I didn't tell him and regretted that.

Q. What talent do you wish you'd been born with?
Dancing feet!

Q. What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?
I think going to Scotland just by myself for a week was random but really good :)

Q. What's a subject you wish you knew more about?
I wish I knew more about biology it was my favourite science but i just never paid attention because Mr Murchie was so boring.

Q. What word describes you best?
Bubbly.

Q. What is your greatest accomplishment?
So far? It would have to be getting out of that big dark hole.

Q. What drives you every day?
That I have some pretty good friends :)

Q. What is your favorite food?
I can'te to possibly say it would have to be Chinese!

Q. Where do you want to retire?
I want to be in the open lands of America in tornado season or just somewhere pretty by the sea :)

Q. What is your goal this year?
To pass my driving test again. And start saving some money.

Q. Where do you like to vacation?
Australia at the moment it's so laid back there I would fit in nicely. :)

Q. Who do you admire?
I admire my mum and dad they complain we shout, but they did alot for us and we wouldn't be this good off of it wasn't for them working so hard.

Q. What is your mission in life?
I hate to say it but i'm a family girl I do want to get married and have a couple of kids and a nice little house but we will see eh? Nothing turns out like I plan...

Q. If you were invisible, where would you go?
I would go to NORTH KOREA. They are so naive to everything those people and plus it's really hard to get into the country!

Q. What were your first words and who told you what they were?
my first word was da "dad" lol well dad said it was my first word but mother tells me it was dum for my dummy....

Q. Do you have any weird habits?
Not really... well if i'm at home i always watch a film when i go to sleep.

Q. Was there anything unusual about your birth?
Nothing at all I was healthy one :)

Q. Who did you think was the smartest person in the world?
I think it would be impossible to have all the knowledge in the world there's just too much.

Q. What was your most memorable toy?
Ruby my black white cow.

Q. If you had to choose, which could you live without: TV, the internet, a telephone or friends?
The internet.

Q. If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?
I'd be a main predator they must live the longest. Like tiger or something OR A DRAGON.

Q. Can you tell if someone is lying to you?
No, not really I'm too nice to think somebody would sometimes.

Q. Do you like all your friend?
I like all my friends :)

Q. Do you prefer to live in the big city or a small town and why?
I would like a big city!

Q. What's something you couldn't live without and why?
Air? because we need it to live.

Q. What did you hide from your parents?
smoking. but they know now.

Q. Are you the same person you were as a child, or much different?
Much different. I grew up a little :P

Q. Talk about a time when you got into trouble at school?
urm, I will always remember bunking that day off in highschool and having to be on report for a week that was the worse thing I did at school I wasn't that bad after year eight!

Q. Do you consider your childhood a happy one?
Yes it was very good :)

Q. What is your saddest memory?
My Grandads funeral someone telling me i'm depressed was er, a not so good day.

Q. Who had the most positive influence on you?
My friends

Q. Why were you given your name and does it have a special meaning?
No they just liked Laura.

Q. Did you ever get lost?
I did once at a carboot sale and i cried like a mother fucker then some nice ladies helped me find my mum who was also crying like mad

In all my selfish thoughts.

I could really use a wish right now.
Now I know people have problems but I find it quite good writing on here.
I find it good when I'm so clear.
I will never tread on anyone's toes I hate making awkward situations but I find them interesting all the same watching how everyone reacts to them.
I hate thinking about what I'm going to do about things I'd rather just be a plain sailing than really have anything to worry about it but that's just not human nature.
I think I'm different to quite alot of people.
I'm quite positive about most things but recently I have been finding my negative side and I'm cynical side maybe it's because I have opened my eyes that bit wider to see the real picture.
I hate feeling stupid but I do alot of the time, I feel stupid for thinking about things in that negative light but really I'm thinking no-one can hurt you only if you let them and I'm a sucker for that.
People do find it easy to walk all over me because I usually see the best in people and even after they have done that I still do.
Maybe I should be a life coach.
Nah, mines not too good at the minute, don't get me wrong I love the air I breathe and I love the people I have around me they are truly amazing!
And often I do go off the radar for awhile but it's only because I don't want them to have to listen to all my crap so I usually write it on here which no-one really reads anyway...
I don't get why I'm really writing it sort of gets something out of me by doing this.
I never really find it hard to tell people how I really feel about things if they asked me outright and I will tell them honestly. But I will never tell them the bad things.
I think that's why when bad things come my way I do get down about it but I'm sort of one of these people where I make the decision that's right for me and if that means losing people I'm sorry.
The decision I want to make is that if people don't like the way I say things or think things or deal with things or talk about things then they can fuck off.
I will never change for anyone, I won't pretend to be someone else and at the end of the day I'm always worrying and I'm always thinking about things I maybe shouldn't be thinking about but I thought that everyone does that but I seem to constantly ask why?
Why have they done that?
Why did I do that?
What am I going to do?
And what am I going to do to forget about this one?
And then I'm like BUT REALLY these are problems you can fix.
Number one you need to leave Entwistle Green it's getting me down every time I go to work I constantly worry even more and that they are going to sack me for not being able to get to work and not being able to drive any more but hopefully that won't be long :)
I just need to get myself sorted things just seem to be going good till I just get sort of pushed off track something sidetracks me, it was a good thing I think and I don't regret anything.
But I'm not going to lie. I'm confused, I'm a little mad and I'm a little hurt but it's nothing I can't deal with, but I can see what's really going on and I can see the ulterior motives and I'm going to let you just find out for yourself.
I then want to sort out university because this is something I should really be doing, now some of you think of Laura like aw she's a little ditsy which I can be at times but by god I can get a degree if everyone else can and yes I can be a teacher because I think I have good theory's although maybe telling kids about aliens isn't such a good one. aliens are real shut up.

I just have lots of things going on in this head and it's like overload and it affects everything I do and how I feel and I just don't feel like me at the minute because there's not big problems just little things I need to sort out so until I do I suggest anyone who wants to fuck with this mind stay away or you will just get mind fucked twice over ;)

I can play it however way I want I FOR ONCE I'M GOING TO BE SELFISH.

At the moment I'm going to deal with stuff my way and that's break it down important stuff first and then everyone else later. I'm sorry but I'm not going down the road of constantly feeling sorry for myself and getting told by someone else, what's actually wrong with me.

And they say that some people are deep and that they think about everything going on around them well meet me cos I would really like someone to crack this mid open and have a peek you's be so surprised at what you find.

anyway enough of me telling myself what I'm going to do.

Hello, is it me your looking for?

I haven't wrote on here for awhile, it's because I have been uber busy well, not uber but just busy.
Where do I begin really..
This is just like my update to me on here.
Apart from losing my license that was a down nothing much well there has been much i just don't know how to look on my whole situation on things...
It's been a long time when I didn't have any real worries..
I didn't worry about money.
About friends.
worrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry.
is a big thing with me I worry.
I worry alot i worry more than i should think i used to get told all the time that didn't express myself enough and then i did and people still say i just don't bite the bullet.
I felt have done more recently like said things I would have worried about but I'm not going to worry about this!
I need to be more organised with myself especially with money.
I was watching something today and mainly because of last night, i saw lots of people from college and they all asked me what you doing now and i replied i don't really know.
I want to be teacher, I want to go to uni but i can see alot of the bad things about it...
I want to see the world as well I just haven't had enough experiences in life to worry about stupid situations that are going on now.
I'd rather if I had the money pick up my bags and travel meet new people see new places although i would miss what i'm leaving behind mostly meaning family and friends but freakin' amazing would it be just to be one day in Venice and the next in Thailand well not as easy as that but you know what I mean..


I want to get into music more not like listening but playing maybe even singing if I don't stop singing stupidly all the time and maybe get some answers to my own mind ah the answers to my mind. I'm good at forgetting about things I have realised this, I'm good at just moving on.
I'm also good at getting the answers I want.
I'm good to my friends at least i think i am haha.
I have no will power when comes to things like smoking or drinking well a little more with drinking and I have a problem of not shutting up.
But what i'm good at is people.
I think i'm quite good with people i hate treading on peoples toes and i hate upsetting people and i hope other people agree with me on this i think i'm too nice.
Sometimes it is good to be a little mean sometimes to avoid getting walked all over but only be mean for the right reasons.

hm.
I think my dreams are seriously fucked up right now as well it's like my head is overloading with information and i need to release it and i don't really know how =/.
As for my dream, the first seriously weird and depressing dream i had was saturday nights, i was an old woman and i had to give an interview about my life there was a child sat beside me and i'm guessing that's my younger self she spoke for me but the old lady opened her mouth but said no words. It freaked me out i then watched myself die which was quite upsetting because there was no-one around, thing is i know exactly what this means i think, and i do believe that dreams are connected with the mind obviously. But it was one of those dreams where you just felt like you had to wake up to make sure it wasn't real.

Last nights dream was really bad, i wasn't in the dream it was all people i didn't know. I was looking in on a highschool a new girl was starting and she was beaming, smiling introducing herself when two other girls with black lights around them and i watched it for what felt like days as these two girls manipulated this poor naive girl she didn't know what she was doing and they manipulated her so much that she resulted hurting the people around her like murder so watching a 13 year old girl murder her mother isn't the highlight of my dreams that has by far been the most disturbing because it was quite detailed. It just blags my head even more than it already it is.

well well well.
Paramore is Manchester they have added another date. I hope I get a ticket in time or i will have to go to ebay.